Back To Reality

My whole experience feels surreal. The past five months feel like a dream (that I've unfortunately woken up from). 

I've been putting off writing this because 1.) I don't know where to start and 2.) summarizing my trip means it's actually over (and being home is already making me sad enough). 

After two trains and two planes (and struggling with way too much luggage - seriously, just call me bag lady), I arrived back in Baltimore on Friday, June 20th (insert sad face here). 

I've officially been home a week and four days (I'm counting). Upon returning to the homeland, not only did I experience severe jet lag, but had to ask my mom what side of the road we drove on. The dogs were thrilled to see me - the cats, on the other hand, gave me the cold shoulder for a few hours. 

Studying abroad and living in the UK has always been a goal of mine, and while I can now check both off my bucket list...I'm not ready to be back in the States, hearing only (well, mostly) American accents and not being told I'm pronouncing words incorrectly (e.g. aluminum, oregano, etc.) is killing my soul (dramatic, yes). I already want to go back (and wish I had missed my flight and worried about being deported later). 

I can't even begin to explain how much this entire experience meant to me, from the wonderful people I met to the beautiful countries I visited - I really lived. 

I made great, life long friends. Out of all of the people I met, these three girls became family to me. The amount of time we spent in our kitchen together - eating Ben & Jerry's in the middle of the night or dancing/singing during lunch/dinner (we basically ate all our meals together, totally not needy/weird) - made my time abroad 1000x better than I ever could have imagined. 

They were always there for me and their friendship (and the fact that most people didn't seem to care what I was doing with my life) really made me question how much some of my friends back home actually cared for me. But, these gals though, they're awesome and I love them.

I know I'm not the same person that left in January. I hope people will see a positive change, but I'm not too concerned if they don't. I know I'm different (and for the better) and that's all that really matters.

A year or two ago, I don't know if I would have backpacked around countries completely on my own - but, now that I've done it, I know I can do anything.

This past weekend, I stayed at my sister's place in Philadelphia to watch her cats (and have a holiday/vacation away from my house) while she was in Ireland. My mom asked after if I felt afraid about being alone - I don't know how, after being away for five months and doing all that I did (and almost being 23), I could be afraid of spending a weekend alone in Philly. It just seems silly.

I've become accustomed to doing what I want, when I want - now that I'm home, I'm concerned I will lose that freedom and independence I gained while abroad. I realize it's different in the sense that I can't just walk down the street to the nearest pub for a couple of pints (also, I can't do this because I'm completely broke), but still. 

New(ish) goals: graduate in May 2015 and get a job in the UK (hey, London, I'm lookin' at you). Keep your fingers crossed for me. 

PS: I will finally be posting my Ireland/Scotland trip and a few other vlogs within the next week on here.